Bar #16: Millie's Lounge

11:00pm, Wednesday, July 6

1817 W. Wellington Ave.

Price of Old Style: $3.00 bottles

Common characteristics of many Old Style Bars:

· “Off the beaten path” – basically you’d never know it existed unless you lived nearby

· Open at 7am

· Regulars out-number non-regulars

· Sinatra or country on the jukebox

· TV’s showing regular shows, not sports

· Average age of clientele – over 50, including the bartender

· Most popular drinks are cheap whiskey, Old Style, Hamms, PBR

· Allows dogs

· Old Style sign over the door (duh)

At one time, Millie’s probably had many of these characteristics, but got new management a few years ago. Unlike many Old Style bars that have closed or are barely hanging on, Millie’s changed with the times.

When we walked in, there was a group of four at the bar, probably in their late 20’s. The bartender was an attractive girl sporting some cool tats, and they had an amazing selection of craft beers—all at great prices. She was playing some good music too, right off the iPod...I'm pretty sure I heard The Ponys and some New Pornographers... We had a few beers, played some darts (steel tips), and chatted with the bartender. She told us that she also works at The Mutiny, and the reason they took down their Old Style sign was that it was in bad shape and they were afraid it would fall on someone walking out of the bar. I guess that is a good reason, but I wonder what they did with it? I bet it would look great in my basement...

Millie’s is a solid bar…and if I was in Roscoe Village I would definitely be a regular.

Bar #7: Jefferson Inn

9:30pm, Wednesday, June 8

4874 N. Milwaukee Ave.

Price of Old Style: $2.75 drafts

The Jefferson Inn is a cozy little place on North Milwaukee Avenue. It's a few places down from the Gale Street Inn, which has some of the best ribs in the city, and next door to Edward Fox photography. I'm not sure of the quality of the pictures that Mr. Fox takes, but there's a statue of him outside the door (update: Ed Fox is long gone...the studio has been around since 1902).

Back to the bar, my brother and I walk in and it's pretty dead. Two women sitting at the bar in the front and that's it. There are a few booths next to the bar, and the back room is up a few steps, and also has a few nice booths, a flatscreen, and electronic darts. Looks like a good place to chill out with friends.

We order our Old Styles and the bartender asks us our names. She's probably in her late 20's/early 30's and is one of the most disproportionate people I have ever seen. She's barely fitting in the shirt she's wearing, with her boobs pushed up to her chin, but her curves end after her waist...no butt whatsoever. Sorry about the bartender critique - this won't be a regular feature of the blog - but this had to be noted. Anyway, she doesn't believe me that my name is Adam, because guys tell her that all the time. Why? Because her name is Eva. Oh, of course! I guess people at dive bars read a different Bible, or maybe they updated the names in the New-New version to make them trendy. If that was so, it would be Aiden, not Adam, and Eva.

Popcorn. There is popcorn behind the bar. Eva quickly fills us a bowl before we even ask - ok, this girl's alright. She convinces us that the bar will pick up after 10pm. We sure hope so, because America's Got Talent is on TV, and we're actually getting into it. Ten o'clock rolls around, and sure enough, people start filling up the place. A good number have just gotten off work at Gale Street Inn, and shots are being ordered. Must have been a rough night at work. No--the shots are being ordered by this guy that just walked in, and seems like a very happy drunk. He's an Indian dude, and reminds me a lot of Rajesh from Big Bang Theory (who can't talk to women unless he's drunk). Raj orders drinks for everyone in the bar, except for us (WTF - getting screwed by the regulars again), and then proclaims a number of times, "Oh man, who the f--k is gonna pay for all this?" We're done with our beers by now, and make our way out. We need to pass Raj to leave the bar, and we wonder if he'll offer us a drink. Nope - all we get is a "See you later, guys!" and a smile. No big deal for us...we had one more bar to hit, and man was it a doozy.