Bar #52: Question Mark Bar

6918 Grand Ave.

8:00pm, Wednesday, May 2

Price of Old Style: $2.25 bottles

The Question Mark Bar is about as west as you can get in Chicago before hitting the suburbs.  Located in the Montclare neighborhood, the Question Mark is the last stop on your way to Elmwood Park.  The bar was a lot smaller than I expected, a real hole in the wall with not much space.  There were a few video poker machines at the front and a jukebox in the back.  The crowd this particular night were lonely, middle-aged white guys ogling the attractive, middle-aged black bartender.  In between serving drinks she was putting up a killer playlist on the juke...all classic funk and R&B music from the 70's and 80's.  

After a few minutes another black woman walked in...she must have been a regular because the bartender brought her drink right as she sat down: tap beer with a bendy straw.  Then I see the bartender pour herself a beer in one of those medium-size gas station cups, also with a bendy straw.  Is there something I don't know about?  Also, the bartender's name was on the cup: Adele.  Not expecting that, either.  The questions were building up...

We sat there for two Old Style's, enjoying the music and the interesting vibe going on in the bar.  We even got to hear some Terrance Trent D'Arby!  We finally got a chance to as Adele about the origins of the bar.  "The name?", she said, "I have no idea...matter of fact, I don't think anyone knows...the bar has been here since the 40's.  I guess if we knew the answer we'd have to change the name of the bar!"

Bar #51: Jack's Stop Inn

5811 W. Fullerton Ave.

8:00pm, Wednesday, May 2

Price of Old Style: $1.50 12 oz mugs

WGN made a huge mistake when they put reruns of 30 Rock in the 10:00pm time stop right after the news.  Their failure was no more evident at Jack's Stop Inn, a decent blue collar bar in the Belmont Central neighborhood.  Let's just say that the humor of 30 Rock was "over the head" of the four regulars who were sitting at the bar with us, but the fact that the episode was a Halloween episode made it even worse.

"What the hell is this shit?"

"This show isn't even funny!"

"Where's 'Two and a Half Men'?"
"Larry, change the goddamn channel!"

I feel like this wasn't the first time this conversation happened at Jack's.

Bar #50: Ski's

2959 N. Hamlin

8:00pm, Wednesday, April 4

Price of Old Style: $1.50 12 oz mugs

Our 50^th Old Style Bar was a place called Ski’s.  If you go there expecting a lodge atmosphere, you’ll be quite disappointed.  This place is named Ski’s for another reason.  The great part about Ski’s is that it is a true dive bar, and a true Old Style bar.  The sign says it all!  It’s not positioned along a main street, but two blocks off of Milwaukee Avenue, just stuck in the neighborhood (similar to Millie’s and the Corner).  Walking in, my brother and I realize we’ve been to this type of bar before (Rose’s, Sunnyside Tap, Sportsmans), but for some reason, Ski’s seemed even more familiar to me.  The wood paneling on the walls, the lone pool table, and a few cheap liquor bottles behind the bar…this was my grandparent’s basement, reincarnated.  Until I was around 10 years old, my grandparents lived in a small house in Harvey, IL.  It wasn’t much, but my grandpa had his own bar in the basement.  Even back then I thought it was cool, and vowed to have my own basement-bar someday (still hasn’t happened yet).  The grandkids weren’t allowed to use the cue sticks while playing pool, for fear that we would ruin the green felt top.  We had to roll the cue ball with our hands, and this is how I “shot” pool until I was in high school.

Ski’s was a little different from Bob’s Place (a.k.a. Grandpa’s basement).  He didn’t have Old Style or Okocim on tap (which were the only draft options), and his TV wasn’t on a Polish channel.  I’m pretty sure we were watching the Polish version of “How I Met Your Mother”, except their Robin was a lot hotter and blond.  The bartender was a sweet old lady who reminded me of my grandmother, but spent most of our time there in the back room talking to her husband (who did not remind me of my grandfather).  There were two other old guys at the bar, both paying attention to the TV and the bottom of their glass.  I am assuming that with it's proximity to Logan Square, this place may get a little crowded on the weekends, but tonight we were reminded of the past, and I almost wished we were asked to not use the cue sticks.

Bar #49: Moe's Tavern (formerly Relax Lounge)

2937 N. Milwaukee Ave.

10:30pm, Thursday, March 29

Price of Old Style: $3.50 bottles

I used to drive past Relax lounge all the time when I lived in Logan Square, but it seemed like a shady dive bar, so I never went in.  Now that I have been doing this blog, I was excited to finally get to Relax,  but alas, it closed and now Moe's Tavern is in it's place.  Doh!

Nothing unique about this place - it's obviously a ripoff of Moe's from "The Simpson's", down to the Simpson art on the awning and windows.  They don't have Duff beer (actually a decent selection of craft beers), but you can order a Flaming Moe!

The interior is really stale...it seems like an office in a strip mall that was converted into a bar.  This couldn't have been how Relax was...Moe's was just very BORING and too clean--it had no character.  Christ, it had CARPET!  There was a cute bartender, but that couldn't help Moe's, as there were only 3 other people in the bar.

So, after doing some research...it appears that Moe's was served with a cease-and-desist order from Twentieth Century Fox for copyright infringement.  It appears they haven't taken it too seriously, as some "minor" changes were made to the mural on the wall.  A great bar gets it character from it's bartenders, customers, and overall atmosphere.  Moe's has a long way to go, as the only character it has is in the form of a 20 year-old cartoon.

BEFORE

AFTER

Bar #48: Goofy's Hock Shop

4369 N. Elston Ave.
10:00pm, Thursday, March 29
Price of Old Style: $2.00 bottles

Goofy's is another decent neighborhood bar, with nothing too exciting about it.  The owner's nickname is Goofy, and there is a lot of Disney memoribilia strewn about the bar...  The bartender was kind of a tough guy, so we didn't feel comfortable taking pictures.  One beer, and OUT!

Bar #47: Mr. ZJ's Inc. (Podhale)

2924 N. Central Park
7:30pm, Thursday, February 4
Price of Old Style: $1.50 drafts

For some reason I thought this bar was called Podlasie, but that place is actually next door.  As we pulled up, we didn't see any sign other than Old Style and Okocim.

Then we get this gem on the window:
















So, Podhale is the southernmots region of Poland, which actually includes the town of Zakopane, but that wasn't what caught our eye.  "Mr. ZJ"?  Who was that?  The running joke for the next 10 minutes was "if you don't know Mr. ZJ, you can't afford it..."  If you have no idea what I am talking about, shame on you, and here you go.

Inside, we were greeted by a wonderfully nice bartender who spoke very broken English, but attempted to have full conversations with us, mainly about the horrible weather Poland had been getting this winter.  After 15 minutes, she turned the TV to the Polish news channel, and something bad must have happened, because everyone (the other three people) were fixated on the TV.  We finished our 2nd beer and snuck out.

Bar #46: Ted's Place Ltd.

4425 N. Central Ave.
9:30pm, Wednesday, January 25
Price of Old Style: $1.75 drafts

















After leaving K&H we went a short distance to Ted's Place Ltd.  Another neighborhood bar, and more pool, but this place had a completely different vibe than K&H.  Complete silence.  It was like you were watching golf.  We found this out the hard way as our conversation got a little loud, because nobody else said anything during a shot.  There were a few times where we had the whole bar staring at us with those "Shut the Hell Up" eyes.  It was an older crowd, but the intensity in the games was still there.

We were also a little confused as both teams had the same damn Ted's Place shirts on, but then realized that they were same shirts with different addresses...one was Central Ave. and the other was Agatite Ave.  Whoa.  Crazy.  "Shhhhh....".  Ok, people, we get it...

Two guys walked out saying "let's go to another bar, we can't win here".  My brother and I walked about and pretty much said the same thing...

Canada has jumped on the lime beer bandwagon as well...

Bar #45: K&H Lounge & Liquors, Inc.

3750 N. Central Ave.
Wednesday, January 11, 9:15pm
Price of Old Style: $1.75 taps

K&H Lounge looks like a normal dive in the Portage Park neighborhood, but on this Wednesday night it was JAM PACKED.  The reason?  Pool.  Lots of drunk middle aged guys yelling after every shot, high-fiving, and drinking cheap, cold beer.  These guys had their own sticks, and also had their women there to cheer them on and drive them home at the end of the night.  I'm pretty sure nobody noticed us walking in...we just sat at the bar and watched the evening unfold.  These games were so intense there were almost a few near-fights...I was really hoping for our first Old Style Bar bar-brawl.

It was so crowded, we didn't get a chance to chat with the bartender, and didn't want to talk up the locals...everyone was here for the pool, not to talk to a couple of newbies.  We did get a good laugh at the "siding" that was flanking the main door.  Very strange.  K&H is the ultimate neighborhood bar with a very solid clientele.  This place won't be going anywhere anytime soon...

Bar #44: J&L Bar

3402 N. Cicero Ave.
8:00pm, Wednesday, January 11
Price of Old Style: $1.50 mugs

J&L, the bar with an identity problem...  On the outside awning, it says G&L, but inside above the bar it says J&L.  So which is it?  A quick scan of the billiards trophies tells us it's J&L, but what gives?  I ask the bartender and she says, "The owner is right there, you can ask him..."  I look down the bar and this 80 year-old man starts talking to me in Polish.  I smile and look back to the bartender and she says, "I think he changed his mind on the bar's name after the sign was already made.  It's named after family members, so maybe he didn't want to leave anyone out."  A likely story, but I think either the awning company screwed it up or the owner accidentally put a "G" instead of a "J" when he filled out the order.

Anyway, about the bar...it's a good size place, and advertises "FREE POOL EVERYDAY".  This area is a mecca for pool players (more about this later), and J&L had taken home a few trophies over the years.  The decoration is "Wisconsin Basement" meets "90's living room", with wood paneling on the walls, except for one wall which is all pink.  The bar top also had this weird mauve color going on...not very manly and very dated (like most Old Style bars).  Overall, not a bad little place on a real sketchy stretch of North Cicero.

Bar #43: Tuman's

2159 W. Chicago Ave.
10:00pm, Thursday, October 28
Price of Old Style: $3.00 cans

I moved into my first apartment in Chicago back in 1999 after graduating from college.  It was in Uptown just north of Irving Park Rd., and there wasn't much of a bar scene near us (and still isn't).  My roommate and I brought it upon ourselves to search out destination bars that sounded cool.  This consisted of us actually looking in the phone book under bars/taverns.  That's when we saw it: Tuman's Alcohol Abuse Center.

The best bar name EVER.  It was like the Holy Grail of bars...  When we finally made it there it was the spring of 2000.  We went during the day on a weekend, because the Ukie Village neighborhood was still kind of a sketchy place, and we had never been down there before.  The main thing I remember was how dark it was...it was a sunny day, and when we walked in pretty much any outside light was gone.  I also remember how damn smokey it was...there were a few regulars there and every one of them was smoking...packs of cigarettes placed on the bar along with a few dollar bills that would buy them at least 2 more beers.  I don't think we stayed there long...it was intimidating...had one beer and left, but we experienced the enigma that was Tuman's Alcohol Abuse Center.

The bar closed in 2003 and reopened in 2005 with the Tuman's name sans "Alcohol Abuse Center".  Please read this wonderful write up of Tuman's, which done by the Chicago Bar Project back when it was still open.  The quotes are priceless, and is a wonderful testament of how beloved this bar once was.

Back to the present: walking into Tuman's on a Thursday, the bar was PACKED.  Probably the most crowded Old Style bar we've been at.  The problem was that Tuman's 2.0 could fit in perfectly in Wrigleyville or Lincoln Ave.  I don't want to be another people that bitches about the clientele at these types of places, but it was sad that at a place that was once cash only, every transaction I saw was made with a credit card.  All "bomb shots" and bottles of Corona (sigh).  They did keep the original window sign, which is hanging on the back wall...at least they understand the history of this classic bar.

Tuman's has been reinvented and is a popular place, but I think it's the bar that's least deserving of the Old Style sign hanging out front.

UPDATE (Dec. '11): Tuman's look down their Old Style sign...good riddance.